The 10 Best Calming Tips I Have Found!

This might be worry time for you!  But worry only drains your energy.  Worry will not solve your problem.  Here are the best ways (quick and easy!) to relax your body, steady your thinking, and prepare you for your next step.  Enjoy these, they do feel good!

1.     Take a calming breath.  Breathe in slowly, be aware of your breathing, hold for a second, then slowly breathe out.  Think about this calm breath while you are doing it. For instructions on this, see Simple Steps to Relaxation, or for more specific instructions, Simple Short Breathing Meditation.

2.     To increase your sense of calm, focus on right here, right now. This means that you need to focus attention and concentration of what you see, what you hear, and what sensations are in your body.  Also notice what is going on in your environment.  For example, if you are upset because you cannot find a key, recognize that right now you are safe, you are ok.

3.     Get grounded: use Body awareness.  For example, notice how your feet feel as they touch the floor, notice how your butt feels on the seat of your chair, feel your arms on the arms of the chair, or notice how they feel in your lap.  It is a good idea to keep some reminders of the earth close to you when you are anxious or worried.  For example holding a small rock can be very helpful in reminding you that you are on the earth, that you are in a specific place.  What you are fearing is not happening right now.

Relaxed woman

Relaxed woman

4.    When you are anxious and upset, calm yourself by becoming an observer of your self.  Notice your sensations, your feelings.  What thoughts are going through your mind?  What does your fear feel like?  This may seem strange, but it is calming when you are frightened or angry or worried to  watch your fear, or anger, or anxiety.  Becoming an observer of your experience helps you step out of that experience.

5.     Let thoughts come, let them go. Thoughts are just that, they are thoughts.  You will calm down when you realize that thoughts are not reality. This is important, so I will say it again.  Your thoughts are only thoughts, they are not reality. What you are afraid of may not happen and in any case is not happening now.  Mindfulness Meditation is helpful in this.

6.     Let feelings, emotions, come, let them go. This includes accepting our feelings, but recognizing that the feelings change over time, and like thoughts,  they are allowed to have their time, and then they can move on. Again, Mindfulness Meditation is helpful in this.

7.     Have a calm place.  Most of us have a favorite place where we can go mentally when we want to go there.  If you have a memory that is calming from earlier in your life, use that memory.  If not, make one up, create a place in your mind that would be calming for you. See Meditation Using Imagery. Many people choose beach scenes for relaxation.  Others choose clouds, a favorite room in their home, or mountain scenes.  You can choose any scene, real or made up, where you feel relaxed, peaceful and safe.

8.    Focus on relaxing your muscles, perhaps tighten them then relax them.  See Simple Steps to Relaxation, or for something more elaborate, Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

9.    Move: use stretching, Yoga, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, walking, running.

10.  Write.  Grab a piece of paper, and pen or pencil.  Or your laptop, or other keyboard.  Write for a period of perhaps 10 minutes.  This writing can be stream of consciousness.  Just write whatever comes to your mind, no matter how emotional, or horrific.  It doesn’t matter.  The only rule is to write without stopping.  It is OK to write “I don’t know what to write” over and over until your thoughts and feelings come out.  It does not have to be grammatical or even coherent.  Just write.  This has helped many people calm down, get their feelings out, and start to address the problem that they are having.  One important rule:  This is not writing for anybody else.  It is just for you.  If you are concerned that someone else will see it you can destroy it.