Compassionate Ways to Take Care of Your Emotions

When there is no solution available right now, what can we do to take care of ourselves and our feelings?

1.   Allow some time:  5 minutes may be enough, if not allow more time, 10 minutes perhaps.  During that time  concentrate hard on what it is that you don’t like, the thoughts that are negative.  Then once the time is up, do something else, perhaps something active, make a plan that your would enjoy, go for a walk or call a friend  The important thing is to change the content of your thoughts to something more positive.

2.  Similar:  Write out your negative thoughts, again for a given amount of time.  Do an emotional dump for about 5 to 10 minutes, let the feelings out.

Picture of a sculpture of tangled roots.

Feelings Get Tangled Up.

Sometimes people are afraid to write out their complaints.  They fear that someone else will find them and will read them.  This is especially true if the negative feelings are based in the family.  It is important to recognize that this writing is for yourself, for your own emotional expression.  You are giving yourself a chance to get your feelings out.  This is not a diary and not a journal, which are entirely different things.  Allow your feelings to get out.  Then, if you don’t want anyone to see the material, destroy it.  Nobody else has to see this if you don’t want them to see it. This is important, because if you expect to be reviewed and to be judged you will censor what you write.

3.  Call or see a friend, and unload. Before you start it is important to ask your friend for what you want.  When we present our problems to a friend or family member, they often believe that we want some help.  This may or not be true.  If you want advice, ask for that.  If you want help with a problem ask for that.  If you want to vent, ask for your friend to be a sounding board to hear you, rather than to help you solve the problem. Be specific, tell your friend that you just want a listener, not advice or some way to solve the problem.  People want to be helpful, and they will not know that you want to vent, not get more solutions.

4.  Do something physical.  Go for a walk, or a run, work out.  Dance if that is your thing.  But getting active offsetsthe negative, increases the endorphins running through your body, and gives you a different focus.

A young woman, running or dancing.

Exercise Such As Running Or Dancing Helps Us Care For Our Feelings.

5.  If you are not able to process or work something else at this time, make an appointment with yourself.  We have appointments with others so often, but we neglect our own need to process or to discuss our own problems.  When problems come up at work, an appointment or a meeting is held to solve the problem, but our own problems are brushed to the side.  We can make an appointment with ourselves to address these problems later, when we can find a friend, write or just allow our feelings.  IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE KEEP THIS APPOINTMENT.  THIS IS SELF RESPECT, AND SELF CARE!